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  • About us
    • Privacy Statement
    • Trustees
    • Our research
  • Support for you
    • Our introduction to mental health training – Suffolk’s Needs Met
    • Counselling
    • Eating Recovery Group
    • GreenCare
    • Mums Matter
    • Open Spaces
    • Waves: Borderline Personality Disorder Service
    • Suffolk Night Owls: Telephone Support Line
    • Suffolk Work Well
    • Emotional Needs & Resources
    • Supported housing
    • The Norfolk and Suffolk COVID-19 support service
  • Support for organisations
    • I want to support my team’s wellbeing
    • I want my managers to have the confidence and skills to support their teams
    • I want my team to have the confidence and practical skills to support others
    • I want to support Suffolk Mind through fundraising in our workplace
    • Contact our Workplace Wellbeing team
    • Urgent support for employees
  • Schools
    • Support for your primary school
    • Support for your secondary school
    • Resources for schools and teachers
    • Support for your children’s activity group or club
  • Get involved
    • Job vacancies
      • Community Services Manager
      • Telephone Support Line Operator
      • Senior Practitioner
      • Support Worker – Cambridge
      • Support Workers (Woodbridge)
      • Care Worker
      • Relief Support Workers
      • Relief Care Worker
      • Employee benefits at Suffolk Mind
    • Volunteer
    • Join us as a counsellor
    • Friends of Suffolk Mind
    • Emotional Needs Survey
  • Support us
    • Donate
      • Why regular donations matter
    • Leave a gift
    • Events & challenges
    • Corporate Fundraising
    • Giving Pages
    • In memory
    • Fundraising FAQs
    • Fundraising Resources
  • More help
    • Emergency Contacts
    • General FAQs
    • Useful Links
    • Support Groups
    • Understanding Self-harm and Suicide
    • Reflective listening
    • Sammy the Sea Squirt resources for schools
  • Contact
  • Resources
    • News
    • Blog
    • Shop
      • Emotional Needs and Resources cards
      • Suffolk’s Needs Met course manual
      • EARLY Minds resource cards
    • Understanding Self-harm and Suicide
    • LGBT+ Mental Health
    • Sammy the Sea Squirt
      • Purchase the Sammy the Sea Squirt book
    • Ukraine: Supporting Your Mental Health
    • 20Zz Sleep Better, Be Better
    • Support guide for children and young people
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The Emotional Need of Status & Respect

Written By Ezra Hewing, Head of Mental Health Education, Suffolk Mind

Each month at Suffolk Mind, we focus on an emotional or physical need. Just as we have physical needs for food, drink, sleep and movement, we have emotional needs too which need to be met for us to stay well. Here, we focus on Status & Respect.

It feels great when we are valued by the people around us, but meeting the need to feel respected is about more than lifting our mood. When people show us genuine respect, it tells us something important about ourselves and how we fit into the world around us. When we don’t feel that we are respected it can have a negative effect on our self-esteem. But giving and receiving real respect is about more than platitudes – so how do we tell the difference?   

How do we know that we are really respected? 

We know when the praise we receive doesn’t ring true. It might be nice to be told how wonderful we are, but if it doesn’t match the way we are treated the effect soon wears off!

Instead, making sure that we acknowledge the things which people do for us lets them know that we really value them and that they are not taken for granted. Taking the time to tell somebody, “your help and support really made a difference to me, so thank you,” is an important part of nurturing healthy relationships.

Be careful what you praise

Children, too, know when the feedback they receive is genuine, and researchers have shown that what we praise is as important as how we praise.

When children who successfully solve problems in a classroom are told that they are intelligent, they give up more quickly when given a follow task which is too difficult. By contrast, children who are praised for the effort they put into a task, keep going even when faced with tasks which demand more than they are usually capable of.

One lesson s that if we show children – and adults too! – respect for what they do, it encourages them to do more of the same and to keep growing.       

Status & Respect shapes our sense of self

Having a healthy sense of self enables us to know our own mind; make our own life choices; stand up for ourselves; and to be resilient in the face of adversity.  According to psychologists, our sense of self is partly shaped by the respect other people show us – a good reason to be careful about what we respect and how we show respect too!

Want to learn more about how the language of respect can help children’s emotional wellbeing? Quay Place welcomes everyone at its free events like the ‘Learn to Speak Childish’ evening on Thursday 22nd March 2018. Why not come along?

Author: Stuart Dent

  • Emotional Needs & Resources
  • Status & Respect
Posted on: 1st March 2018

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