How do I improve my mental health?

Put simply, we can begin to improve our mental health by meeting needs

Like all living things, human beings need certain things to survive and thrive. Alongside our physical needs, we have emotional needs that help us stay well and balanced.

The Human Givens Institute, an international psychotherapy organisation (www.hgi.org.uk), identifies nine emotional needs that all humans share. Meeting these in balance supports both our physical and mental wellbeing.

These emotional needs are: security, control, attention, status, community, privacy, emotional connection, achievement, and meaning & purpose. Let’s take a brief look at each one.

If you want to explore which emotional needs you’re meeting, or not, take our short anonymous survey to find out. Emotional Needs Survey.

Security

Meeting our need for security isn’t about being safe in everything we do. Life involves risk, but we need enough security in enough areas—physical, emotional, financial, at home or work—to feel calm and confident enough to take appropriate risks and live fully.

Control

Feeling in control doesn’t mean controlling everything, because that’s impossible. It’s about finding the balance between having choice and letting go of what we can’t change. I often think of the Serenity Prayer—having serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and most importantly, the wisdom to know the difference.

Attention

We all need to receive attention from others—kind, non-judgemental, accepting attention that helps us feel seen and valued. This need is so powerful that, if we can’t get good attention, we may even settle for negative attention instead.

Status

Our need for status isn’t about being the boss or high-ranking. It’s about being appreciated and valued by those around us. A simple thank you for a job well done, a friend who recognises your sense of humour, or feeling respected for who you are—all of these meet that need.

Community

We also need to feel we belong. Just like with attention, we might accept unhealthy communities if we can’t access positive ones. That’s why it helps to belong to different groups—hobbies, workplaces, faith groups, or local hangouts. Sharing diverse ideas keeps us open-minded and connected.

Privacy

All our social needs need a counterbalance, and that’s where privacy comes in. Privacy isn’t just being alone; it’s time for our thoughts to catch up with us. Scrolling on your phone or overthinking doesn’t count. Taking even a few quiet moments to pause and let your mind wander can make a big difference.

Emotional connection

Bridging the gap between community and privacy is our need for emotional connection. These are the few people who truly accept us as we are—where we can share private thoughts without fear or judgement. Interestingly, it doesn’t always have to be a person; pets can also meet this need beautifully.

Achievement

We need a sense of achievement to feel alive and engaged. If we never stretch ourselves, boredom sets in—and boredom can be just as stressful as overwhelm. Achievement doesn’t have to be grand; it can be as simple as noticing the small wins that took effort and give you quiet pride.

Meaning and purpose

Meaning and purpose can come from many places—walking the dog, learning something new, helping others, raising a family, or being part of something bigger than yourself. When we have a sense of why we do what we do, life feels richer and more fulfilling.

It’s not about meeting every need perfectly. Too much of one can be as unhelpful as too little. These needs overlap, and the balance constantly shifts with life’s ups and downs.

When our needs fall out of balance, we might experience anxiety, anger, or depression—and sometimes this imbalance deepens before we find our way back. But recognising these needs is the first step toward feeling more in control and at peace again.

So, take a moment to reflect. How well are you meeting your own needs right now? Even small changes can create meaningful improvements in your wellbeing.

Did you know that we offer interactive, friendly training courses about the Emotional Needs and Resources approach?

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