BBC’s Traitors: When Celebrities “Betray”

What Celebrity Traitors can reveal about Emotional Needs and how listening skills could help

Warning – spoilers ahead (up to episode 4, season 3)

In the high-stakes world of reality TV, we’ve all seen the twist, murders, deceit, and really bad Roundtables. Viewers gasp, alliances shift, and trust is shattered. But beyond the drama, these betrayals echo deeper human patterns: betrayal, suspicion, emotional hurt, and the longing to be understood.

At Suffolk Mind, we believe that these patterns point back to our basic emotional needs and that the very skills of reflective listening, active listening, and attuned attention to body language can help to heal the wounds or, catch the Traitor.

Celebrity Traitors: more than TV drama

Shows like The Celebrity Traitors UK (with stars like Jonathan Ross, Alan Carr, Cat Burns, and Clare Balding) are dazzling Wednesday and Thursday nights. Alliances are made and broken (or forgotten about completely – JR!), participants accuse each other of deceit, and viewers debate who is next for the chop.

But behind the show, we’re seeing some emotional needs being met, and others woefully unmet.

Emotional Needs & Resources: A framework for understanding the Faithful and Traitors

The Emotional Needs & Resources approach describes a set of 12 needs and 9 resources we are born with, and that must be nurtured.

• Emotional Connection is an emotional need. We want to feel loved and seen warts-and-all by another person. In the castle, once the Traitors are chosen, the safe ground of implicit trust is eroded, even among closest friends. Sorry, Paloma.
• Value, and, Meaning and Purpose. We want to feel our contribution is recognised, hence why everyone enjoys getting stuck into challenges. Meaning and Purpose is met on both sides. For the Faithful it’s all about adding to the charity prize pot and catching the Traitors. For the Traitors, they’re playing to win the prize pot for their charities, and playing the villain.
• Community spirit. We’re watching celebs – some of whom know each other well and some less connected – band together to raise money for charity. The group challenges, as well as teaming up in the Roundtables, can help meet that need for community.
• Security and control are out of the window. Who can you trust? Will you be banished at the Roundtable? Will you still be here at breakfast?

Reflective Listening and active listening: how do we find the Traitor

We’re watching the Traitors communicate in plain sight, and we’re watching them get away with it. Are they just really good, or are the Faithful missing some clear signs?

• Reflective listening (as Suffolk Mind describes) involves repeating back or paraphrasing what someone has said (“So what I hear you saying is …”) to ensure they feel heard, and you gain clarity. Techniques like paraphrasing, asking clarifying questions, and observing and matching non-verbal cues can ensure you comprehend the speaker’s message and perspective.
• Active listening is the practice of fully concentrating on, understanding, and responding to what another person is saying, rather than just waiting to speak. It involves being fully present and avoiding distractions.

Our Supporting Mental Health workshop teaches you these skills, to enable you to support people through good quality conversations.

Reading body language: what can offer us communication clues?

Often, what isn’t said speaks loudest. In tense moments (like in the show’s Roundtables), contestants’ body language gives clues:

• Crossed arms, leaning away, tight lips may signal defensiveness or feeling closed off.
• Shifting weight, avoiding eye contact, fidgeting can betray guilt, anxiety, or internal conflict.
• Open posture, forward lean, nodding can show engagement, sincerity, or willingness to listen.
• In Alan Carr’s case, we’re seeing (the Faithful aren’t yet!) a lot of nervous giggling and over the top reactions 

By tuning in to these cues, someone can notice when a person is emotionally shutting down, becoming guarded, or hiding something. In a mental health or relational context, noticing these cues allows us to pause, reflect, and respond with compassion rather than assuming the worst.

From Betrayal to repair: using those skills to notice

Here is how the Emotional Needs & Resources approach might lead to recovery.

In the TV show, a contestant who senses hesitation or shifting posture in an ally might call a “pause” to re-establish confidence. As we have seen, people get it wrong all of the time.

So, in real life, we can do the same: pause, reflect, re-engage. This can help us engage our Observing Self resource, to look at ourselves from a distance and gain clarity.

Conclusion

The spectacle of celebrity traitors makes for gripping viewing but it also mirrors internal, everyday dynamics.

Therefore, by practicing techniques like reflective listening, active listening, and sensitivity to body language, and by anchoring our approach in the Emotional Needs & Resources framework, we offer not just a lens on drama but skills to rebuild trust, heal relationships, and meet the emotional needs that darkness often hides.

If you’re interested in brushing up your communication skills, we have just the workshops for you here.