12 tips of Christmas

All is calm, all is bright… right?

Well, not always. Some of us struggle at this time of year, whether it’s caused by the pressure to socialise and appear cheerful, concerns about food or finances, or we’re missing someone special or feeling lonely.

Here, we share our 12 tips of Christmas – some simple ways to look after mental health for ourselves and those around us this festive season.

1. Gift yourself some time

If you have a busy schedule, or a busy household, you need to set aside some time for yourself. This could be an ‘evening off’ with a film and bath or going for a refreshing trip outdoors on your own. A bit of Privacy can give relief from busy days.

2. Acknowledge what might cause you stress

For example, if you are managing an eating disorder, then not knowing the schedule of the day, or what the meal will be, could get in the way of meeting your Emotional Needs for Control and Security. Asking the host about the plan for the day and letting them know how they can support you quietly is one practical way to give yourself a bit more control and security.

3. Keep a bit of a routine

Of course, for many of us the Christmas period is a change to our normal day-to-day activities. However, keeping a bit of routine can support our mental health, just as going to bed and getting up at regular times helps us to get better sleep.

4. Seek company if you need it

Christmas can be a lonely time for many people for so many reasons. Sometimes, making time to meet a friend for a coffee, or phoning someone in the evening can help you connect. If you want company (that isn’t friends or family), there are options. Local pubs, cafes, libraries and charity organisations host community Christmases, or will open for a couple of hours extra on festive days. Look out for these events being promoted nearby. Alternatively, many charities are looking for volunteers at this time of year – perhaps we can donate our time and, in turn, meet new people.

5. Try not to overspend to show your love

No one needs ‘five gold rings’ at Christmas. Let’s avoid going into debt just to show people how much we love them. Finances can affect our needs for control and security, so keeping to a budget can help us to meet these needs, both now and into the New Year.

6. Put your phone down a bit more

Or, at least try to limit the amount of attention we give to our phones this Christmas.

If you’re visiting people, then try and use your phone for photos only – and give your family and friends the present of your attention instead. When we’re at home and scrolling social media, we should remember that people are only posting their highlights, not everything else between.

7. Give a gift

Not a gift from the shops, but the gift of quality attention. Giving and receiving Attention is an important emotional need which shapes our relationships. Really listening to someone and reflecting a little of what they’ve said back to them helps them to feel heard. You could ‘give’ your attention to a friend, family member, or someone in the pub or shop who wants to chat.

8. It’s OK not to feel festive

Not all of us are full of Christmas spirit. If you’re feeling low this December or missing someone, can you try to focus on the parts of Christmas you do enjoy. This might be decorating the house, the old films on repeat, the Christmas lights as you travel at night, sending cards and presents to loved ones, the weird bit in between Christmas and the New Year, the Christmas songs, singing carols, etc.

9. If you’re working or volunteering this Christmas, remember your meaning and purpose

Some of us may be working or volunteering at Christmastime – such as in a hospital, at a soup kitchen, or in retail for the Boxing Day sales – and we may miss the odd event or family gathering. Let’s try to keep the Meaning & Purpose of your work in mind. Meeting your need for meaning and purpose can help you feel part of something bigger than yourself, and provides you with resilience through tough times. It can also protect against mental ill-health.

10. Make new memories or traditions

Some of us are facing our first Christmas apart from our family. This could be due to a split, or it’s the first year without someone we love. Or, maybe your children have grown up and are spending Christmas with other people. Whatever your circumstances, consider sowing the seeds of a new tradition. Choose to eat a different meal, or go for a walk somewhere different, or have ‘Christmas Day’ on a different day. Get creative to make this time work for you.

11. Feeling overwhelmed? Movement can help change our environment

Moving our body burns off the stress hormone, cortisol, and fills us with feel-good endorphins. You could take the dog out, or go outside by yourself for a while to be somewhere different. If you can, it’s good to take some time away from the hustle and bustle of the festivities. Even thought the days are shorter, getting some fresh air and a bit of daylight can help reduce stress.

Sometimes, moving to a different spot in the house can help reduce overwhelm. Even reading a new book in a different spot, doing a puzzle at the table, or volunteering to do the washing up while everyone settles down in front of the TV can do the trick.

12. Remember: everyone’s Christmas looks different

No one’s Christmas is perfect, and it’s all over before you know it. If you’re feeling low or not looking forward to Christmas, remember this is all temporary. If you can find something (it doesn’t have to be much), that brings us joy or comfort this festive season, and try to focus on that.

More support for you this Christmas

While our offices are closed over the Christmas period you can still explore our website and:

Self-refer for our support services

Browse our resources hub for more blogs like this one

Visit our help directory, which includes emergency contacts in case you – or someone you know – is in crisis

If you need help urgently:

Visit A&E or see your GP

Call 111 and follow the prompts (the wait times can be up to an hour)

Call the Samaritans 116 123