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Suffolk Mind

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0300 111 6000
[email protected]
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  • Home
  • About us
    • Privacy Statement
    • Trustees
  • Services
    • COVID-19 advice & helpful resources
      • Resources for adults
      • Resources for children, parents & carers
      • Helpful support – telephone and online
    • Suffolk’s Needs Met
    • Anger Management
    • Anxiety Management
    • Counselling
    • Eating Recovery Group
    • Get Ready Step Forward
    • GreenCare
    • Mental Wellbeing for Suffolk’s LGBTQ+ Community
    • Mums Matter
    • Open Spaces
    • Personality Disorder Service – Waves
    • Suffolk Mind Connect
    • Suffolk Night Owls – Emotional Support Line
    • Suffolk Work Well
    • Supported housing
    • The Norfolk and Suffolk COVID-19 support service
  • For organisations
    • Who we’ve worked with
      • Case studies
    • CARES open course
    • Workplace Wellbeing Courses
      • Meeting Emotional Needs in Practice – virtual sessions
      • Keeping Calm, Mindful Breathing – virtual sessions
      • Sleep Well, Work Well – virtual sessions
      • Your Needs Met – virtual sessions
      • Introduction to the Emotional Needs and Resources model
      • CARES
      • Effective Communication for Wellbeing
      • Mindful Breathing
      • One-to-one coaching
      • One-to-one consultancy
      • Sleep Well, Work Well
      • Supporting Staff Mental Health for Managers (1 day)
      • Supporting Staff Mental Health for Managers (2 day)
      • Stress Management
      • Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
      • Understanding Psychosis & Schizophrenia
    • Wellbeing Performance
    • Schools
      • EARLY Minds
    • Corporate fundraising
  • Get involved
    • Job vacancies
    • Volunteer
    • Volunteer Counsellors
    • Suffolk PenPals
    • Friends
  • Support us
    • Donate
      • Why regular donations matter
    • Leave a gift
    • Events & challenges
      • 100 Miles for Suffolk Mind
      • 100 Miles for Suffolk Mind t-shirts
    • Corporate Fundraising
    • Giving Pages
    • In memory
    • FAQ’s
  • More help
    • Emergency Contacts
    • Emotional Needs & Resources
    • General FAQs
    • Useful Links
    • Support Groups
    • Video: understanding suicide
    • Video: understanding self-harm
  • News
    • Blog
  • Contact
  • Resources
    • EARLY Minds resource cards
    • Emotional Needs and Resources cards
    • Suffolk’s Needs Met course manual
    • Suffolk’s Needs Met course manual & Emotional Needs and Resources cards set
    • The Qur’an & Emotional Health

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  • Meeting Our Children’s Need for Sleep During Lockdown
  • Lockdown 3: Helping your children to meet emotional needs over the next six weeks
  • How to make good decisions which help you follow the rules
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How to make good decisions which help you follow the rules

One of the biggest challenges in the new post-Covid world is knowing what the rules are, and keeping up when they seem to change on a daily basis. How on earth are we supposed to stick to the rules when we can’t always work out what they are? Our Workplace Wellbeing Trainer Penny Tyndale-Hardy explains how we can make good decisions.

The rules seem to be written in such a way that it’s not always clear how they apply to a particular situation.

For example, ‘work from home if possible’ is easy enough if you can work from home. But if you can’t, does that mean you are allowed to go to work, whatever your job is? ‘Stay local’ seems pretty clear, but what is local? One mile from home? Five? Twenty? And what are ‘exceptional circumstances’?

This ambiguity means it’s easy to look for – and find – loopholes that justify what we want to do, even if it breaks the rules. 

One reason people break the rules is because they infringe our control, our choices, our freedom. Having a sense of control is really important for our wellbeing and when that is taken away it can make us feel unsettled, anxious and stressed, and we may respond to that by rejecting those rules.

Our sense of community is important and our need to belong can make us go along with things that on our own we might not do. For example, if the group around us rejects the rules – maybe breaks social distance advice or doesn’t wear a mask – evidence shows that we are more likely to do this too.

However, there are equally strong drives that help us keep the rules. Our need for security will actively encourage us to follow rules that help us stay safe. When we understand and agree with the rules – if they seem to have meaning and purpose to us – then we are also more likely to obey them.

So when trying to decide what we do, maybe it’s more useful to start by looking at why there are rules. What are they there for?

The rules are there to stop the spread of coronavirus. The more human contact we have with others, the easier it is for the virus to spread. Science isn’t absolute, but all scientific advice will be based on data and evidence. This is then filtered through the politicians, who decide how to use the science, alongside other considerations, such as the economy and people’s wellbeing.

When we are anxious, it affects our ability to think clearly about things and can mean we make emotional decisions rather than rational decisions.

If our anxiety is about how the rules are negatively affecting us – anxiety about not seeing a loved one, for example – we may be more likely to break them; if that anxiety is more about the virus itself it might make us frustrated by others who break the rules. However, it’s important to remember that we cannot control other people’s decisions – we can only control what we do ourselves.

Good decisions come from our rational thinking rather than our emotional thinking. We need to come at it with a clear head, which doesn’t happen when we are emotionally aroused.

So if you are having anxiety around interpreting and sticking to the rules – whether because you find it difficult to keep to them, or are worried about staying safe – make sure you calm that anxiety before making a decision. Try some mindful breathing or read our other resources on coping.

When we are calm, we can clearly assess the rules and make good choices. Respecting each other and bringing compassion and understanding will help us make decisions that work for the whole community.  

Author: Kristina Brinkley

  • Blog
Posted on: 23rd November 2020

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Suffolk Mind

A massive well done to Roger for completing a marathon and raising an amazing £1214.60 for Suffolk Mind! Thank you for supporting us in our mission of making Suffolk the best place in the world for talking about and taking care of mental health. #SuffolkSaysThanks ... See MoreSee Less

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5 hours ago

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We're calling for people to connect with others during lockdown by writing letters, picking up the phone, or shouting over the fence to your neighbours to try & halt the decline in our mental health.

To help with this, we've launched a new PenPal scheme so you can send us a letter and we'll get back to you. See more details here: www.suffolkmind.org.uk/news/connect-with-each-other-during-lockdown-to-halt-decline-in-mental-hea...
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Connect with each other during lockdown to halt decline in mental health - Suffolk Mind

www.suffolkmind.org.uk

Suffolk Mind has issued a plea to local people to write letters, telephone people they haven’t spoken to for a while, shout to neighbours over garden fences, or do whatever they can to connect with others to try and halt the decline in our mental health due to lockdown. For those that would like t...
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1 day ago

Suffolk Mind

We're so pleased to be working alongside Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust to be offering support to the amazing professionals who are doing such a vital job on the frontline. www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/nsft-suffolk-mind-mental-health-support-7071474 ... See MoreSee Less

New mental health support for frontline coronavirus staff

www.ipswichstar.co.uk

NSFT has launched a new mental health support system for health and care staff during the coronavirus pandemic.
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2 days ago

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Are you looking for a lockdown challenge? Why not take on 100 Miles for Suffolk Mind? Run, walk, hop or dance your way to completing the miles. Lola the dog has been loving the challenge! giving.suffolkmind.org.uk/events-and-challenges/100-miles-for-suffolk-mind ... See MoreSee Less

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5 days ago

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A huge thank you to Tesco Extra for raising an amazing £772.92 in food vouchers for our Housing Projects. Lizzy, our Fundraising Coordinator happily picked them up last night. Thank you. ... See MoreSee Less

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23 Oct

Mums Matter is a new six week course that has been designed for mums in the Ipswich area who are experiencing mental health challenges in the perinatal period. If you have symptoms such as worrying thoughts, anxiety and postnatal depression, we can help: https://www.suffolkmind.org.uk/services/mums-matter/

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23 Oct

With the clocks going back this weekend, the latest blog from @SuffolkMind's @jonneal_UK, which focuses on helping our #mentalhealth over the winter months, is a must read.

Check it out at https://www.keepmovingsuffolk.com/the-clocks-are-going-back/

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23 Oct

A huge thank you to Councillor James Finch for choosing Suffolk Mind as the Chairman's Charity of the Year. It has been a fantastic 18 months.

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Happy Birthday for Sunday Lee. Thank you for asking people to support Suffolk Mind.

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20 Oct

Do you want to come and join our team? We're looking for enthusiastic and dedicated part time support workers who can support our tenants by providing high levels of one-to-one support with all aspects of daily living. Visit our website for details: https://www.suffolkmind.org.uk/get-involved/job-vacancies/

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